04.S03 Chapter Four, Snippet Three

New Prairie Woman
Susie Rosso Wolf
Chapter Four, con't

With an exasperated sigh escaping her breath she rapidly shot out “Well, now his children love you and they are too young to understand all of this hate stuff and family feuding. Maybe the little girls are smarter than the adults. You should think about that, and listen to them.”

“The only thing I’m going to do is to figure out a way to let them down gently. I’ve got to come up with an excuse to give them, one that they'll believe.”

“Why? Just go and get it over with. I think you guys should do it. It’s a great opportunity to heal this sickness and to let love back into your family.”

“Oh Jo, I’m not ready for this, it’s taken me so long just to be able to sleep at night without waking up crying, I can’t just show up and see him like that. And he would be so uncomfortable too.”

“What does Brenda say about it?”

“Oh she’s all for it, of course. And I just bet you that she put the girls up to this.”

“I’ll bet she did too.”

“What does Kurt say?”

“He’s all for it too.”

“Oh, so you’re outvoted!”

“Yes, I am.”

“I know it’s hard for you to imagine seeing him, but I think it would be a healthy start to mending fences.”

“But I didn’t tear down the fence! He did this, and he’s made it clear he wants nothing to do with me. He’ll probably become irate in the airport and make a scene.”

“Not in front of his daughters, he wouldn’t do that would he?”

“I don’t know him anymore, so I can’t answer that. Perhaps I never really did know him.”

“Sounds to me like you’ve lost the love.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No, I can’t blame you for feeling no love toward him, but you have to think of the girls.”

Another deep sigh escaped but this time it was from me, from my very soul, as we neared the end of our walk and passed by our neighbor’s house then walked the length of our yard. We stood outside our gate in the middle of Napa as we finished our conversation. Jo left, leaving me unsettled and confused. I truly didn’t know what to do about this situation. The answer would have to come from prayer. This was too big for me to deal with on my own. I walked back to the porch swing and sat down in my favorite spot. I opened my little book of Metaphysical Meditations and began to read the beautiful poems. Soon I was calm and relaxed so I turned my eyes up to God and began to meditate. I prayed for peace, for love, for understanding. I prayed for strength, for health, for courage. I prayed for guidance and wisdom, humility and balance. I prayed to the Blessed Virgin, to Divine Mother, to my mother and father. I just prayed and prayed for an answer to come to me. I needed to find the right answer, from within, to make the correct decision and to live with that decision no matter what the outcome would be.