03.S04 Chapter Three, Snippet Four

New Prairie Woman
Susie Rosso Wolf
Chapter Three, con't

The long walk back to the truck caused my legs to be tired so I was grateful to sit down now, my bad knee was killing me and I needed to rest. Although I had been stuffed into the back seat by a persistent young lady who insisted on sitting in the copilot’s seat next to her Uncle Kurt, the ride back to the valley was quite amusing as Cricket jabbered her head off while sitting in my lap and Snowflake taunted her sister from the front, showing off that she was first to sit with their “boyfriend.” 

A blanket of fog began to cover the pier and Pacific Coast Highway while we drove up to Topanga Canyon to take the long scenic ride home to the valley. Carnival junk food filled our bellies so none of us had an appetite for dinner but we did snack on popcorn late that night as we all sat in the family room together watching Disney movies and that weekend’s NASCAR race. Snowflake sat on Kurt’s right, while Cricket snuggled up to his left side. Both girls held his hands and giggled, flirting away with enough love and adoration to fill the Santa Monica Bay. I sat in my overstuffed rocking chair while Brenda was shoved to the far end of the sofa with the least favorable view of our old console television.

After midnight, I helped Brenda make up the sofa pull-out and carry the now very sleepy darling angels into the bed with their grandma. Snowflake and Cricket babbled on and on in their exhausted whispers about their day, not wanting it to end. But it was ending now and we were all worn out but little Cricket could not close her eyes, she could not let go of this marvelous day with these wonderful people who were showering her with so much love from an aunt and uncle she had never known existed so in her tiny tired voice she said, “Um Aunt Susie, will you tell us a story?” I looked into her beautiful caramel colored eyes and soaked in her delicate features, her honey colored hair, the features of a living porcelain doll, absorbing her gentle innocence, her tender heart.

“It’s very late honey, maybe tomorrow. You need your rest now.”

“Oh please? I’m not sleepy, and neither are you, Snowflake! Right?” Snowflake rolled over onto her side and moaned a little something as she fell off to sleep. Cricket released a deep sigh, then rolled over on her side, opposite of her sister, and wrapped her arms across Brenda who was already asleep and gently snoring. I kissed them all good night and tiptoed out of the family room, turning down all of the lights behind me.

Padding to the master bedroom I peeked in on the dogs and Kurt who were all together in our bed down the hall. In near slow motion I walked out to the patio in the dark and sat on my porch swing looking out at the pool under the moonlight, reflecting on this incredible day and wondering what now, would lay ahead for our family in the future. Certainly, we had experienced a breakthrough that both Kurt and I were so grateful for; to be back on track with Brenda and to have spent this time with the girls was indeed an unexpected gift. Throughout the day we remembered the love of the old days when our family was tight and together and we could depend on the safety of it, like knowing you’re safe inside your church. The pain of losing that for so long was real and I continued to struggle with the idea of a family member abandoning me and although I felt a sweet sense of relief from this incredible day, I felt somewhat uneasy too. I didn’t know if it was due to a deep seeded lack of trust based on past experience with Brenda, or if it was an intuition I was having, an instinctual alarm bell ringing, telling me to put that armor on and to keep it on. I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything except that I loved those little girls and that it was wonderful laughing and smiling again, with my Brenda.